denotes premium content | Feb 7 2012 Feature
posted 22 Apr 2010 in Volume 2 Issue 3
Ted Sorenson, a former Kennedy speechwriter, once said: “In ancient Rome, when Cicero gave an oration, audiences said,‘What a good speaker he is.’When Demosthenes spoke, audiences said,‘Let us march’.”Two things strike me as most interesting about this quote. First, Demosthenes clearly had the right idea about moving listeners to action rather than simply moving them to compliment his speaking style. Second, where are the women orators? While decidedly scant several hundred years ago, strong female orators are all around us in modern times.And, whether accidental or intentional, they use many of the same oratorical skills that the Ancient Romans used with great success.As a doctoral student many years ago, I studied ancient rhetoric and persuasion. Modern as we think we might be now (and therefore superior), many of the same persuasion principles that applied so long ago still apply today. But the important question remains: do those persuasion principles apply equally to men and women or does gender inequality exist on this front as well?
Gender differences in persuasion?
A double standard still exists for men and women when it comes to persuasion. Legal persuasion research backs that point, including in the courtroom where jurors generally found female lawyers to be less persuasive overall1 but where judges sometimes found female lawyers to be more persuasive in gender discrimination cases. In Canada2 research in relation to witnesses found that male witnesses were perceived to be more credible overall even though female witnesses were found to have more moral character.3 If you are a business lawyer, that double standard also exists in the conference room.
That said, all is not lost.The gap in credibility seems to be fairly small in many cases and, in my experience, the still astonishing novelty of being one of a few women in a meeting or courtroom can work to your advantage.At the same time, it is true that we can benefit from adopting some of the assertiveness skills more often attributed to men while still maintaining those feminine qualities that are uniquely our own.
Capitalise on effective persuasion techniques
Consider the following advice as you move into your next persuasion event. Several matter more for us as women but most apply to either gender.
Before you speak your mind, change your mind
Believe it or not, some of the most important persuasion success comes from how you think about the event rather than how you persuade at the event.Your message must move the listener to action but if your message is more focused on what you need above and beyond what the listener wants, the listener will see through it and resist being persuaded by you. For example, assume you need to persuade a client to take a certain course of action in drafting an agreement.You could waste a great deal of breath by first telling the client what the law requires and what you need to make the deal go through.The client knows what he wants out of the deal and, as his lawyer, it is your job to acknowledge what he needs.We humans are a narcissistic bunch.When persuading us, appeal to our priorities first, then educate us about the law.
Draw your conclusion up front
Any time you make an argument to an audience of one by phone, to several in a meeting, or to a fact finder in the courtroom, you have the option of either drawing your conclusion up front or waiting to draw your conclusion until after you have presented your data or support. Exceptions exist but you will typically be more persuasive if you draw your conclusion up front.Why? Because the better teacher often wins the point.To be a better teacher, your audience needs to understand where you’re headed with your point.We are all fairly lazy listeners.To be motivated to act, we have to be motivated to stay tuned to your message. If you draw your conclusion up front, your listener is more likely to stay focused on your support. If you reverse that order, there is a risk that your listener won’t know where you’re headed and may mentally opt out of listening fully while you move to your point.
Host your audience
If you have ever come across as shy or reserved in a business setting or in the courtroom, your point likely lost its shot at being more persuasive before you even opened your mouth to speak.Women lawyers dance a fine line of needing to come across as assertive but not too aggressive, even though social science research finds that persuasive advocates overall are the ones who take a more aggressive approach. To start with the right tone, think for a moment about how you come across in an entirely different setting – a dinner party. If you are the guest, odds are that you are more passive than if you are the host.As the host of your own soiree, you are likely to be more outgoing, animated, and verbal. We give ourselves permission to be that way. Yet, isn’t it interesting that we sometimes hold back in meetings even though we have something of value to say? Step outside yourself in a future meeting. Did you hold back too much? Did you go to the other extreme of getting too aggressive out of frustration after not having spoken up in an assertive manner? Both extremes are especially problematic for women.
Be assertive
I know what you’re likely thinking – tell me something I don’t already know! But do you know which concrete communication behaviours frame you as assertive compared to other, very specific behaviours that women especially fall prey to prevent us from being as persuasive as possible? A persuasive communication style can be broken into verbal behaviour and nonverbal style. Let me point out the most important research findings for each of these:
Effective verbal behaviours
• Use a slightly faster speaking rate.
Let’s start with a counter-intuitive finding. Communication research has assessed whether a slower rate or a faster rate of speech is more effective. So many times, people believe speaking slowly makes us sound erudite and well reasoned. It also turns out that it makes us sound more boring.A faster rate of speaking is actually more credible and, therefore, more persuasive. Most speakers talk at a rate of about 150 words per minute. Most listeners can process at a rate double that number.When you speak too slowly, you sound more tired and you give your listener time to let her mind wander and still get your point if she’s motivated enough to come back to your point. But be careful – we all know speakers who go too fast. Note that the advice is to speak at a slightly faster rate.
Speak in the singular. It doesn’t matter if your audience numbers in the hundreds.Talk to each audience member one person at a time. People are motivated to act when they feel you are talking to them. How do we receive someone when we’re in an audience ourselves? As the individual who we are, not as an audience en masse.Your audience will feel more connected to you if you make it clear that your message is for that person alone (replicated many times over if need be). For example, instead of saying,“All of you will find…”, say “You will find…”
Incorporate vocal variety. Vocal variety is simply being conversational. The logic is simple enough but the execution of this trait is often lacking. We are typically poor self-monitors of how conversational we sound when presenting a point or speech.The next time you have an opportunity to make a presentation, record yourself. Listening to your own vocal variety (or lack thereof) is an eye opening experience.We tend to get stiffer when we speak, and research has found that more monotone speakers are less persuasive.As women, we often over-correct our own dynamic style out of a concern of coming across as too flighty. Use your voice’s ability to change in pitch, rate, and tone.
• Replace your vocal fillers.
You know who you are if you fall prey to frequent “ums” and uhs”. But have you paid attention to whether you are guilty of using fillers like,“you know…”,“so…”, and “like…”? These fillers are equally as damaging to a persuasive message. But how do you get rid of them? For many women, the more we focus on eliminating these distractions, the more they proliferate. Instead of trying to passively eliminate them, actively replace them.With what? Silence.Try at first to swallow the “um” or the “you know” when you feel it coming on. Eventually you won’t have to swallow it and can instead replace it with a smooth pause. You should not try to fill every piece of air with words.Well-placed silence can be a great attention-getter.
• Use definitive sentence endings.
Years ago, a tentative communication style was called “women’s language”. Communication researchers ascribed the weaker style to our gender. Insulting as this sounds, we women are indeed more guilty of committing a “powerlessness sin” on one front – use of an upward inflection. Listen to how your female colleagues and subordinates end their sentences. Do their statements sometimes sound like questions? Research has found that women use this style more frequently than men and that it greatly undercuts women’s credibility in persuading others. The fix is quick. Force your voice to go down at the end of the sentence rather than up.The quick fix is within reach but it does require practice to change a habit of using an upward inflection.
Effective non-verbal behaviours
• Use conversational eye contact.
Let’s move away from you as the speaker for a moment and put you in the audience. We audiences are passive, passive, passive.We chronically underestimate the importance of our non-verbal reactions in an audience and how those non-reactions affect the speaker. When listening to someone speaking, be more alert and present in the eye contact you make. Show facially that you are engaged and nod your head in agreement when warranted. Speakers are hungry for feedback, non-verbal or otherwise. Be sincere but be present.
Use a forward lean and straight positioning. Part of my doctoral research focused on non-verbal behaviours that could be broken down this minutely. Taken in isolation, each behaviour may not make much of a difference. Packaged together, someone who leans forward at a table and uses good posture makes a more persuasive presentation than someone who leans back and slouches over. It takes effort to be mindful of what our body is doing in addition to our words, but the combined effect is well worth it.
Watch your hands! Two features matter here. First, if you talk with your hands, don’t stop now! Too many of us worry that our gestures are distracting. Of course, some can be, especially if you repeat the same movement over and over again. But the greater risk exists that you will lose some of your dynamism if you lose some of your natural gestures. (If you are worried about it, videotape yourself and see if you distract even you! Watching yourself can be a brutal teacher but it is often the best one.) Second, keep your hands away from you face and your hair.We women tend to touch our faces and hair more when speaking or listening. Doing so makes us look less powerful and can distract from our message. Be mindful of that fact.
The bottom line on persuasion principles
In summary, consider the following key principles as your checklist for moving your audience to “march”, à la Demosthenes:
• Are you sincerely interested in helping your listener achieve his or her goals or are you more interested in meeting your own? Consider the ratio of time you spend honestly thinking about your target’s needs above and beyond your own.
Is your ratio of speaking to listening 1:2? It is a fallacy to consider persuasion as limited to only those times that our mouths are moving.
Have you addressed your listener’s objections first? Until your audience has his/her key objections addressed, it is difficult to listen with full focus to your persuasive points.
And, finally:
• Are you your most dynamic self?
Above all other technical advice, bring your own natural energy into your persuasive style.When all the research is put together, it points to a dynamic speaker as the most persuasive. Listeners have precious little time in their day to read your vitae and diagram your arguments.They often short cut their perception of you by assessing whether you seem to express your points with conviction. Dynamism provides that short cut.
Dr. Lisko is a litigation consultant with Persuasion Strategies, a service of Holland & Hart LLP, and frequently lectures on women, persuasion, and the law. She can be contacted at klisko@persuasionstrategies.com. For more about her services, visit www. persuasionstrategies.com.
References
1. Hahn, P.W. & Clayton, S.D. (1996). The effects of attorney presentation style, attorney gender, and juror gender on juror decisions. Law and Human Behaivor, 20, (5).
2. 2As summarized in Szmer, J.J., Sarver, T.A. & Kaheny, E.B. (2008) The impact of attorney gender on decision making in the United States Courts of Appeals. Paper presented at the Political Science 2008 Meeting of the Midwest Political Science Association.
3. 3Lisko, K.O. (1991). Juror perceptions of witness credibility as a function of linguistic and nonverbal power. Unpublished doctoral dissertation, The University of Kansas.
